


River of tears

by Nikky_the_writer



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 09:39:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16870591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikky_the_writer/pseuds/Nikky_the_writer
Summary: Being in love with Bucky, but dating Pietro, AUWords in italic are from song ˝River of tears˝ by Alessia Cara





	River of tears

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my Tumblr: @nikky-the-writter
> 
> Warning: cursing, cheating

You could see all the clues, but you didn’t want to believe that was true. You couldn’t let yourself believe that he was that kind of person. All of them were warning you, they loved you. Also they loved him, but still they were telling you not to be with him.

In your eyes Pietro was perfect, you couldn’t find any flaws about him. His hair was perfect, his crystal blue eyes, everything. So, how did you come to this? Maybe you wanted it to happen? Maybe that happens when you actually love someone else, who doesn’t even see you?

  


* * *

You came to the avenger tower after the incident with Ultron. You thought that you could help them, you arranged the meeting with Tony Stark. Tony didn’t know who you are. He wanted to know how could a twenty-year old girl help the avengers. After the meeting, he was impressed, even more. You showed him your powers. You could control four elements: fire, water, earth and air. 

You spend two months in facility with Tony and agent Hill they were monitoring you. You passed all the tests and you were ready to move to the avenger tower.

On your first day you met everyone except the twins and captain Rogers, they were on a mission. You were staying in the room next to Bucky Barnes. He was quite, but sweet. Before you came here, you heard stories about him, but he doesn’t seems like that kind of person. You didn’t care if he was an assassin. 

* * *

It was the eleventh night and you couldn’t sleep. You went to the kitchen. The hallway was dark so you crashed into something or someone. Your head hurt and then you heard somebody breathing.

˝Sorry, I… ˝ 

You could recognize the Bucky’s voice.

˝No worries, Buck, it was dark and I am pretty sure that it was my fault. ˝ you smile, but he couldn’t see it in the dark.

˝Can’t sleep? ˝ He asked quietly.

˝Yeah, I can’t get over the fact that I am here, but I think that food will help, it always helps. Do you want to join me? ˝ You didn’t really expect him to say yes, but he did. You spend all night watching movies, talking and eating everything that you could find in the fridge.

* * *

During the time that you were in the tower you started getting to know Bucky. At first he would just look at you, after a few days you started to talk. You talked about random things. You learned about his past, he told you some things and some he was still holding to himself. You didn’t care, you all had lives before you came to the tower. You didn’t know him before, but you have  now. You liked him, he was different to you then to others. He was protective and caring. It felt like you have known him for years, but actually you knew him for twenty days. Everything was going great and then three members of the team came back. And you and Bucky fall apart.

* * *

˝Bucky, wake up!˝ You could hear somebody talking and something moving next to you.

˝Steve, can you keep your voice down? She is still asleep˝ Bucky was trying not to wake you getting up.

˝Bucky, who is she? ˝ Steve was angry, or maybe just jealous. Steve and Bucky were friends, but still not so close friend like they were before. Steve wasn’t really happy seeing you so close with Bucky, he didn’t want to let anyone hurt Bucky.

˝She came here more than a few weeks ago, while you were on mission˝

˝And you are sleeping with her? You said that you don’t want something like that in your life, not anymore˝

You were awake and you could hear Bucky arguing with someone in another room.

˝I know what I said Steve, but it feels so natural to be with her, holding her close. ˝

˝Why would she be so special? ˝ Steve’s voice was loud, he was yelling at Bucky, he never does that sort of thing.

˝I don’t know˝ Bucky said like a whisper.

˝Bucky I want you to find somebody special, but it is not the right time, you should wait at least for a few months. Your mind is still playing with you. Does she even know who you were? ˝ Steve was concerned.

˝Yes she knows, but she doesn’t mention it as much as you do. You still think that I will hurt someone! I know that you love me Steve, we were like brother once, I want us to be like that again. You are right, I could hurt her. I will stay away from her, but I just want you to know that staying away will hurt me.˝ Bucky left to his room. He locked himself in and started thinking about you. How you bring smile to his lips whenever he sees you. He knew that it was silly, silly to fall for someone who you don’t know. But you made him fill complete, like you were the missing piece that he lost because of the brainwashing. He had to stay away. He did.

* * *

Bucky avoided you for two months. You never knew what you did wrong, except that you let him to steal your heart. You had to move on. He would never be yours, why would he?

 

During the first month that he was avoiding you, you were completely oblivious about Pietros actions. He was flirting with you every day and you didn’t really care. In one moment you decided to give him a chance. That decision lead you to this moment. After five months of dating, you saw a different girl leaving his room at night. You didn’t really know why did you care, but one part of you loved him because you couldn’t be with Bucky. You would see Bucky every day and every day you could feel your heart falling apart again and again. Pietro was great at first, you would go on dates, he would hold the doors for you, he was perfect. Then, his mask fall and you saw his real face. Still, you stayed, just for a little longer. Giving him the chance to explain himself. But he lied, again.

> _I don’t know why_  
>  I keep letting you lie to me  
>  Hard as I try  
>  It seems I can’t break away  
>  I thought that you would be the hero  
>  Come and save the day  
>  But you’re a villain  
>  Your sins unforgiven 

 

You decided that you didn’t need all of this, being the avenger and somebody’s girlfriend, you had to leave. It was hard for you,but it was the right choice.

  


* * *

 

You woke up in Pietro’s bed, his arms were holding you against his chest. You could feel his breath against your ear. So sweet, you thought your life was a fairy tale, but it wasn’t you were stupid. You realized it that day, he wasn’t the man you wanted, you couldn’t stay in his arms, you couldn’t kiss him, you wanted Bucky, but he will never feel the same. Why stay somewhere where you are not needed? You can stay in contact with Tony, if they really need you they can call.

You start getting up from Pietro’s arms.

˝Hey, where do you think you are going? ˝ He asked with playful tone.

˝I have training with Nat˝ You lied to him, honestly you didn’t feel bad, he lied to you all the time.

˝You could stay a little longer˝ Pietro pushed you gently back on the bed kissing your neck.

˝I’m serious˝

˝And so am I˝ Pietro didn’t let you go. So you put your arms on his chest and looked him in the eyes. ˝Ok (Y/N), but will you come later?˝

˝Yes, of course˝ You said, kissing his lips for the last time in your life.

You went to your room to pack. When you were done, you walked from your room, walking to the elevator you could hear voices in Bucky’s room. Maybe if you were patient with Bucky, you would be a girl who was in his room.

> _Lost in the tide, I can’t keep my pillows dry_  
>  Like there’s a sea in my eyes  
>  I realize that sometimes love brings you flowers  
>  Then it builds you coffins  
>  And far too often  
>  We end up falling to our demise 

 

You cried for days, it’s been a month, and you still cry when you go to bed. You never cried for Pietro, it felt like it was all a lie. Why cry for something that wasn’t real? You cried for him, for Bucky, for the man that you will never see again. It was your fault, you gave yourself to another men, never knowing what was going on inside  Bucky’s head. If you only knew, he loved you, he wanted to be yours, but scared of hurting you, he would lock himself in his room, only letting Steve in and sometimes Wanda, just to hear how were you doing.

You were both lost in your pain, maybe if you gave yourself a chance you would be whole again, but now you will never know.

 

> _I catch your scent in every wind_  
>  And I recall the love we had  
>  I can’t pretend that I don’t miss you  
>  Every now and then 


End file.
